Anaconda (2025)
Score: 6 / 10
Category: Movie
Platform: Streaming
One-line verdict
A messy, incoherent giant-snake movie that somehow works because it leans hard into comedy — and because Jack Black being Jack Black still counts for something.
Initial reaction
I went into this extremely skeptical.
Mainly because of the cast.
This is Anaconda. A giant snake movie that’s supposed to be scary or at least tense. And yet there are two major comedians front and centre. That alone makes you second-guess the entire premise.
How it plays out
The movie starts slow. Almost worryingly slow. For a while, it feels like it’s not going anywhere because the characters are introduced with so much uncertainty that nothing sticks.
On top of that, the early characters are completely 'swallowed' (pun intended) by the presence of the mega stars. Halfway through, those initial characters are eliminated pretty much as expected, although there are still a few twists along the way.
Once the movie finally decides what it wants to be, it escalates hard. The third act in particular had me laughing my ass off. The outcome is predictable, yes, but the ride there is unexpectedly fun.
This movie gave me serious Tropic Thunder vibes — coincidentally also starring Jack Black. And honestly, whenever Jack Black shows up, you’re almost guaranteed at least a decent time. He carries scenes simply by being himself.
Where it breaks badly
The CGI is darn poor.
Almost shockingly so.
It genuinely looks like a low-tier Chinese production — which is funny because I accidentally watched the wrong Anaconda movie first, a 2024 Chinese production. I made it about 18 minutes in before wondering when Paul Rudd and Jack Black were going to appear.
Here’s the punchline:
The anaconda in that Chinese movie and this one look almost identical.
That’s not a compliment.
Story-wise, the movie is also incoherent. It feels like the script can’t decide which characters should matter and for how long. The pacing goes up and down, almost like the movie was rewritten multiple times without smoothing the transitions.
The section below discusses tone and execution.
Why this lands at a 6
Objectively, this is a 5 / 10 movie.
Weak CGI. Inconsistent storytelling. A premise that doesn’t fully commit to being either horror or thriller.
But the fun factor matters.
The Paul + Jack combination works. Some moments are so stupid they loop back around to being effective. The comedy might be lame for others, but it absolutely worked for me.
So I’m giving it a 6 / 10.
Not because it’s good, but because it’s fun enough to forgive its nonsense — and sometimes, that’s enough.
